B*tch, Don’t Kill My Vibe: The Guide to Sustaining Good Vibes

The term “Good Vibes Only” has become trendy in recent times, but do we really know what it means? Without an accurate definition of “vibes” or vibration, we can misunderstand how to sustain it. There is a misinterpretation that good vibrations are facilitated by external circumstances (i.e.- being surrounded by good food, music, people, crystals, incense, etc.) And while those things can make the mood enjoyable, they are not what sustains our good vibes. If we depend on things outside of ourselves to raise our vibration then we are, in fact, sustaining a low vibration 😱.

Have your actions been labeled as any of the following? 


Do you find yourself surrounded by these types of people? 

toxicmiserable/ unhappynarcissisticclose-minded
co-dependent/ clingy judgementalreckless/ chaoticnegative

If yes, now is the time to polish your life by doing the internal work of raising your vibration and sustaining it. Below is a breakdown of vibration aka consciousness which will help you to do so. We are not basic b*tches over here, okay! And remember, the best teachers lead by example 😉.  

A Visual Breakdown of Consciousness

(Understand where your emotions rank on a scale from high to low) 

Big Thanks to Dr. David R. Hawkins for creating this spectrum of consciousness.

Now that we understand the emotions and their corresponding vibration, I want to offer a spiritual perspective. In Buddhism, different levels of consciousness are referred to as the Ten Worlds. The Ten Worlds are within us and we cycle through them moment by moment. Tina Turner gives a beautiful breakdown of the Ten Worlds in her novel Happiness Becomes You, which is where this information was gathered.

A Spiritual Breakdown of Consciousness: 

(Photo courtesy of 10 Worlds of Buddhism Facebook Page)

10 Buddhahood 😇Total freedom, wholeness & connection to the universe
9 Bodhisattva 🙏🏿Compassion & joy in helping others
8 Realization 💡Understanding the truth
7 Learning 📚Learning the truth
6 Heaven 😋Temporary satisfaction of fulfilling desire
5 Tranquility 😌Relative calm
4 Anger 😡Ego dominated by conflicts & arrogance 
3 Animality 🤤Being swayed by instinctive behaviors
2 Hunger 😈Being controlled by insatiable desires
1 Hell 😔Suffering

Now comes the good part. Here are ways to raise and sustain your consciousness.

Ways to Elevate from Lower Worlds/ Consciousness/ Vibrations:

“If you can’t find peace within yourself, you’ll never find it anywhere else.” 

-Marvin Gaye, Legendary Singer  

-Take a deep breath and come back to the present moment. 

-Weigh the pros and cons of the decision you’re about to make.

-Acknowledge the positives (being alive, able-bodied, having clean water to drink, etc.)

-Pray, chant, and/or connect with nature.

-Remember that each world is temporary. 

Ways to Elevate or Maintain Higher Worlds/ Consciousness/ Vibrations:

“Let your personality serve the energy of your soul.”

 -Gary Zukav, American Spiritual Teacher 

-Give back! (through knowledge, time, money, kindness)

-Better Yourself by seeking knowledge. 

-Show gratitude. 

In ALL Worlds: 

-Drink water.

-Eat fruits & veggies.

-Speak kindly to yourself & others!

⭐️ Biggest takeaway: all emotions, actions, and thoughts have a vibration. The vibration you emit becomes the reality you live in. Change the thinking, change the situation. 

This guide is meant to be referenced multiple times. Read it, sit with it, come back to it, and absorb more. Oh, and don’t forget to share, like, and subscribe!!

Want some feel-good music to vibe with? Check out my playlist “On My Gandhi Ish” available on Apple Music & Spotify. Click the links to listen🎧


Who Hurt You?: Take Back Your Power with Forgiveness

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” 

-Mahatma Gandhi, The Great-Souled One

If you struggle with forgiveness, I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone. We all have been victims of betrayal, bullying, deception, and abuse.  No one leaves this world unscathed. 

I want you to know that there is peace on the other side of that hurt, and it is your responsibility to seek it out. A great place to start is with offering forgiveness. 

Before we get deeper into the subject, let’s discuss what forgiveness is not.

Forgiveness is not:
⛔️ Letting anyone off the hook
⛔️ Reducing the seriousness of the offense
⛔️ Forgetting what happened (probably would if we could!)
⛔️ Condoning what happened

Forgiveness is the conscious choice to release feelings of resentment. It is the key to finding peace and taking back your power. When we forgive, we do it for ourselves. Not for others. Forgiveness is a gift you bestow upon yourself. And who doesn’t love gifs (lol) 🎁!

🎼 Another Gift for You: On My Gandhi Ish ☮️ LISTEN NOW 🎶

If you’re open to it, here’s some advice to help you start the forgiveness process:


The Situation
“Understanding can overcome any situation, however mysterious or insurmountable it may appear to be.” -Norman Vincent Peale, Positive Thinker Extraordinaire

The Person
“The true mark of maturity is when somebody hurts you and you try to understand their situation instead of trying to hurt them back.” -Some Wonderful Person 

“Choose everyday to forgive yourself. You are human. You are flawed, and most of all worthy of love.” -Alison Malee, Poet

“If you don’t leave your past in the past, it will destroy your future. Live for what today has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away.” -Some Important Person

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” -Anna Taylor, Author

You know, your therapist, Tyrone. He’s waiting by the phone ready to help you get through this. Your therapist’s name isn’t Tyrone, you say?  Well, call what’s-his-name anyway!

And there you have it. By no means is this an exhaustive list of solutions, but I hope it helps someone. What’s been the hardest part of your forgiveness journey? Drop a comment below, family! 

Barack Obama Reaction GIF

I’m Out! via GIPHY

Full Moon Healing: Bag Ladies No More

“Bag lady you gon hurt your back/  Draggin’ all them bags like that!”

Leave it up to Erykah Badu to have you feeling equally appreciated and called out. A stroll down Mama’s Gun memory lane left me feeling both vulnerable and introspective. Just when I’d healed one aspect of myself, here came another vying for my attention. Badu’s raw lyrics pierced right through me like a skewer.  

“I guess nobody ever told you/ All you must hold onto/ Is you, is you, is you” 

hip hop squares intuition GIF by VH1
Thanks Giphy!

Badu’s ‘00 masterpiece poetically put into words my disappointment, envy, worry, self-confidence, hopes for the future, and lessons learned. By the end of the second to last song, Time’s A Wastin’, I was in tears reminiscing on how I’d slipped back into old habits: 

  • Ruminating on negative thoughts when I should’ve been sleeping 
  • Having great ideas with no action behind them
  • Stalking Perusing my old flame’s social media 
  • Worrying over a quickly dwindling bank account 
  • Putting other people’s opinions of myself over my own 

Does any of this sound like you? Actions such as the former keep us trapped in negative cycles; and the stresses of everyday life make us forget that we require healing. Healing is a vital part of our existence. Muscles heal after workouts. Flesh heals after lacerations. Moreover, we need to assist our hearts and souls with healing after emotional and spiritual battles. Luckily, we have a powerful celestial being present to aid us in the process: The Moon. 

Sleep By The Sea All Night With The Full Moon And Relaxing Sparkling Waves  on Zavival Beach, 11 Hrs - YouTube

Sir Isaac Newton discovered that the Moon controls the Earth’s ocean tides with its gravitational force. The Moon has also been credited with influencing other activities such as fertility, behavior, and emotions. Historically, the Moon has served as a guiding light for indigenous people, such as the Algonquin tribe, who used lunar cycles to track time and seasons. At the peak of its illumination, a Full Moon symbolizes a time for release. In the spirit of self-love, self-care, and all that other good stuff, I want to share a few ways in which you can benefit from the Full Moon’s energy, restore balance, and release what no longer serves you.

1: Discover what zodiac sign the moon is in.

The zodiac sign serves as a compass to help direct your energy. For example, if the Full Moon is in Aquarius (an air sign), your focus would be best utilized on activities that rest and heal the mind. Each zodiac sign is ruled by an element (Earth, fire, water, air). The element tells you the area of focus.

Earth 🌍 (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn)
Embrace Practicality + Goals
-Declutter/ Deep clean your space
-Donate or give to charity
-Get outside/ Connect with nature
-Cross things off your to-do list
Air 🌬 (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius)
Mentality + Gain Knowledge 
-Research a topic
-Meditate or chant
-Create Art
Water 🌊 (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces)
Emotional Balance + Connection w/Others
-Spend time with loved ones
-Spend time alone doing what you like
-Take a nap
-Do water exercises
Fire 🔥 (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius)
Igniting Passion + Taking Action 
-Dance! Move your body!
-Show compassion for self & others
-Re-visit a hobby you love 
-Write down your mission

Light a candle or incense and say thank you to the universe for being your ally. Don’t forget to include a prayer for those who came before you. If you think your life is hard just look back at what your ancestors endured.  

prayer GIF
Thanks Giphy!

“Silence isn’t empty, it’s full of answers.”  


The merging of your inner and outer selves happens when you give the present moment your fullest attention. 

“What the future holds for you depends on your state of consciousness now.”

-Eckhart Tolle 
Photo from Ishka.com

Wearing crystals on your person can promote positive energy flow. Crystals have the ability to shield you from negative energy as well as dispel it from your body and mind. Recharge them during Full Moons to keep their energy fields clear.

Pretty simple, huh! For more healing tips, check out my article Release Toxic Energy Now! Let me know in the comments how these tips worked out for you or share any of your go-to rituals. 

July’s Full ‘Buck’ Moon is also helping to usher in Leo Season! Make it Hot [in my Megan the Stallion voice] with my King of the Jungle inspired playlist “Wild Side 🦁 🔥” available on Spotify & Apple Music!!!

Follow ya girl on Apple Music, Spotify, and Facebook. We outchea!


How to Support Your Favorite Independent Artists

Independent Artist: a person or group that is not signed to a major record label. 

Pros: Creative control, Higher profits, Ownership over music
Cons: Lack of resources, Time restrictions, Limited business connections 

Although these tips highlight musical artists, this information can be used to support your favorite artists in other categories 😉. Independent artists have complete control over their image and musical direction; however, they also shoulder the heavy burden of the behind-the-scenes costs. Betting on the success of one’s career is a gamble. It’s important to note that artists can go from unsigned, to signed, back to independent. Nonetheless, artists that choose to release music independently encompass the true definition of what it means to believe in yourself! Here are a few tips to support your favorite artists.

  1. Follow Them 👍🏿

Social Media. This is the quickest way to gain access to your favorite artists. You’ll get access to their music and their lives. Be warned, you may get more than you bargained for.  

Website. A website should give you access to all things your artists. Any new appearances, merchandise, or updates should be posted there. 

3rd Party Sites.  As an avid concert-goer, I need access to tickets as soon as they drop. In order to be first in line, I track artists through concert apps. These apps send me notifications as soon as a concert date is announced. If you have a particular artist that you’d like to see live, try following them on a concert app. But first, make sure the site is reputable before entering any of your sensitive information. Try looking at reviews from multiple sources to gather a well-rounded opinion for yourself. 

Sites I follow:

Stay up to date on the latest live shows
  1. Buy From Them 🎟

Merch. Buying merchandise directly from the artist or its affiliates is a great way to support them financially. Not to mention, it gives you a greater chance of receiving a quality product.

Purchase the album. Streaming and purchasing are not the same things! Although streaming is great for exposure, it does not guarantee the musician a living wage. Did you know that Spotify pays $0.003 to $0.005 per stream, according to Business Insider

This means the real money isn’t rolling in until an artist receives over 1M streams. Buying music not only puts more money in the artist’s pocket but also gives you complete access to the music without paying for streaming subscriptions. 

Attend Concerts. Burn calories. Meet new friends. Opportunity to meet the artist. What more can I say!

  1. Share Them 🥰

Sharing is caring! If you care about the people around you, share great music with them. Plus, the more popularity the artist receives, the more quality content fans can hope to get.

  1. Love Them 💕

If you love something about an artist, tell them. We all want to hear praise for a job well done. Comment under their posts, leave a review, write them a fan letter, whatever! Just find a legal, safe, non-creepy way to tell them 😁!

Good News! Ya girl got Apple Music. Come LISTEN to my new playlist Higher Calling & FOLLOW ME @aslongicey .


Chocolate Women Artists You Should Be Listening To Right Now Pt 2!

I been gone for a minute…

Lawd knows, I love my Black women. Here’s another selection of dark-skinned beauties you should be listening to, right now! No seriously, go listen to them right now!


When you have Erykah Badu regularly showing up on your IG posts, you know you’re doing something right! Junglepussy’s sound is just as fierce as her scorpionic persona. The New York City rapper’s personality is likened to that of a venus fly trap: captivating, mysterious, and a little bit scary. But what else could we expect from someone born on Halloween!

Jp’s braggadocious bars promote holistic living like eating healthy, ridding yourself of toxic people, and prioritizing self-love. Did I mention, Junglepussy takes no shit! She has a poetic way of reading you while showing off her delicate femininity. Jp teeters on that fine line between fearlessness and vulnerability. She’s uninhibited and elegant. What captivates me about Junglepussy is her unyielding desire to be herself. In a 2014 interview with Isis Madrid titled ‘Loving Yourself’: The Philosophy of JunglePussy, Jp remained candid in her responses.

“I can’t do some fake shit.” 

“I’m gonna only be able to give them myself. That’s all I have. Everyday. That’s all I have in abundance. That’s all I can give them. I’m like, all right, let me be myself and see what happens. So I feel like by me being myself I was able to send a message to other people to be themselves too and not feel like they have to be a certain way to be cool and accepted.” 

And cool she is! Jp’s Instagram stays lit with edgy fashion statements and ferocious hairdos. She stays reminding the girls that dark-skinned black women can rock any color of hair. Most importantly, she keeps us asking ourselves  ‘Who’s gonna love you better than yourself?’ If you’re feeling adventurous, take a dive into the deep waters of Junglepussy’s universe. You’ll be sure to emerge with a treasure or two. 

My faves:

Jp4 (on Vinyl)

-“Trader Joe”, Jp3

-“Dear Diary”, Pregnant with Success 

-“Satisfaction Guaranteed”, Satisfaction Guaranteed 

Junglepussy YouTube Junglepussy Spotify  Junglepussy Apple Music

Tierra Whack

Photo compliments of Instagram

I credit YouTuber and music critic, Anthony Fantano for putting me on to Tierra Whack with his review of her 2018 LP Whack World. Every song on Whack World is 59 seconds, just long enough for you to catch a glimpse of her genius and leave you feigning for more.

One word to define Tierra Whack: DYNAMIC! Experiencing Whack’s art feels like riding on your favorite roller coaster. She knows just how to push the envelop with her outlandish visuals and lyrics which are reminiscent of Outkast, Busta Rhymes, Ludacris, and Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott. 

Tierra Whack rides her own wave, relying solely on her talent. I challenge you to think of another successful artist with no features on their catalog… I’ll wait. 

This Philly jawn is an all-out entertainer. She raps, sings, and writes. You can catch her swooning on her R&B-inspired track “Flea Market” and mumble rapping on “Mumbo Jumbo”, a song she recorded after having a tooth pulled. Whack’s unique image is layered throughout everything she does. Follow her on Instagram to gain access to her killer freestyles. Trust me, you have nothing to lose from listening to a woman who’s garnered co-signs from TechN9ne, Remy Ma, and Beyoncé! 

Dora Whack World GIF by Tierra Whack - Find & Share on GIPHY
“Dora” music video

Check out Tierra Whack’s collaboration with LEGO: Rebuild the World 

My Faves:

– “Clones”, single

-“Dora”, single

-“Peppers and Onions”, single 

-“Fuck Off”, Whack World

Tierra Whack YouTube

Tierra Whack Spotify 

Tierra Whack Apple Music

Tiffany Gouché

Photo compliments of Instagram

Reppin’ Inglewood “The Wood” California, Tiffany Gouché is a powerhouse vocalist, writer, and musician who has garnered an extensive resume writing for music heavy hitters such as Joe, Usher, Pussycat Dolls, and Jill Scott. She has also produced tracks for Missy Elliott, Lalah Hathaway, and SiR (her cousin and TDE label mate of Kendrick Lamar). With musical talent running through her family and a long list of industry cosigns, Tiffany Gouché brings a new flavor to R&B. Her sultry, vulnerable lyrics promote love and lends its voice to queer Black women all over. 

In a 2016 interview with Joe Kay (founder of the Los Angeles-based music label Soulection), Tiffany says she discovered her singing voice at the age of 9 years old but admits that she didn’t like her voice because “it sounded different” and she thought she “sounded like a guy”. Love for her heavy contralto voice came after hearing singers like Tracy Chapman and Lalah Hathaway. By age 18, Tiffany was finally ready to take her music seriously; and thank goodness she did! She has toured with JMSN and Little Simz; as well as done collaborations with Terrace Martin, Masego, and D Smoke (also her cousin). We see you, Tiffany! 

2021 proved to be a year of wins for Gouché. She was featured on producer J. Period’s single “All in Your Head” alongside legends Dave Chappelle and Black Thought from The Roots. “All in Your Head” was performed on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon which aired on May 12 (S8 E141). Also on May 12, Gouché announced that her music catalogue was available on every streaming platform! Did I mention, sis owns her masters! 

My Faves:

-“Slow It Down”, Fantasy

“Red Rum Melody”, Pillow Talk

-“Good Girl feat. Masego”, single 

-“Dive”, single 

Tiffany Gouché YouTubeTiffany Gouché Spotify

Tiffany Gouché Apple Music

Do you have a beloved cocoa-skinned, female artist playing in your music rotation? If so, put me on! These artists deserve our attention because the industry is constantly trying to starve them. Colorism is a sickness that plagues not only the entertainment industry, but the world. Help to dismantle colorism by challenging your own viewpoints of what makes a person beautiful or valuable. Stand up to those who spew hatred and be the one that spreads love.

“When you teach a [wo]man to hate [her] lips, the lips that God gave [her], the shape of the nose that God gave [her], the texture of the hair that God gave [her], the color of the skin that God gave [her], you’ve committed the worst crime that a race of people can commit. 

-Malcolm X

Comment below!


Happy Birthday, ICEY Cream QUEEN!

You already know ya girl got a playlist for this occasion. Go listen to “Happy Birthday, Icey!!!” right now on Spotify 🧁 🍨

Follow me at @aslong

Wassup, Everybody!!

ICEY Cream QUEEN has turned 1 year old! This has been such an amazing and trying journey, to say the least. The birth of this website was the beginning of me stepping out of my comfort zone. I transformed from a girl who wrote in secret for years to a woman who started to believe in herself. I have so many ideas percolating in my mind: novels, articles, short stories. Sometimes I fear that I won’t get them all out. But then I remind myself to be present. Everyday is a new opportunity for me to work on my art, whether it be for 5 minutes or multiple hours.

I would personally like to thank my close circle for encouraging me. Also, to anyone who has ever supported by reading, posting comments, and/or sharing my work; I appreciate you from the bottom of my heart.

Icey Cream Queen is not just a place for me to express myself; it’s also a place for like-minded individuals to connect. So don’t be afraid to drop a comment. Fear holds us back from so much already. 

Again, thanks for going on this journey. Let’s see where it takes me. 


Mercury Retrograde: What the hell is that?

Photo: ADOBE.

Does your life feel like it’s crumbling into little pieces right in front of you? Is your technology acting up? Are you experiencing combative energy out of the blue?  Well, you have full permission to blame those mishaps on the Mercury Retrograde. I know what you’re thinking, What the hell is that? 

Essentially, Mercury Retrograde is a time where the planet Mercury appears to be going backwards. It’s not, but this illusionary rotation is important to know about because Mercury is the ruler of communication. Named after the Roman deity, Mercurius, messenger of the Gods, Mercury goes retrograde 3 to 4 timers per year. During these times, information becomes skewed and communication issues are at an all time high. Troubles with technology arise, making you want to toss your phone or laptop straight out the window. And don’t even think about planning that fun weekend trip with your pals. Instead, stay home and try redecorating your space. Already made plans to travel weeks ago? Still go. Just be extra careful. Keep yourself balanced and present so you can handle issues accordingly. Need help staying balanced? Check out my article 7 Sure Ways to Start Living Your Best Life for some tips 😉.

Mercury retrograde is a testing period jam-packed with lessons sure to sharpen your sword of discernment and aid you in cutting all of the bullshit out of your life. You may experience debilitating “tower moments” where it feels like the rug is pulled out from under you. Everything feels out of your control.  Don’t fret. This is just the universe removing anything not built on a firm foundation. 

The Tower card in the Rider-Waite tarot deck. This card symbolizes a sudden, shocking upheaval or change. Yes, this card looks scary as hell and can even feel that way when you’re going through it. But, it’s the universe’s way of re-aligning you on your path. Thanks Universe!

Mercury Retrograde is not a time to mentally check out or place important decisions in the hands of others. Remember, you can only control yourself. You decide how you respond; so during the retrograde: be patient, slow to anger, and hold off on making important decisions. 

It’s baffling that such a tiny planet can pack such a major punch. Being the closest planet to the sun, there always seems to be chaos afoot when Mercury shows up. Yet and still, not all aspects of the Mercury Retrograde are bad. They are wonderful times to revisit anything left undone. Are there any old projects or skills you let fall by the wayside? Pick them back up and see what happens. Speaking of revisiting, Mercury Retrograde may bring back another dreaded matter: your ex. 

Don't let no retrograde trick you into missing me. 

“No Band Aid.” Jp4

An ex flame could potentially come back attempting to give it another go. Don’t make your decision in the moment. Take in the information and sit on it until the dust settles just to make sure this illusionary energy is not getting the best of both of you.

Retrogrades are the ideal time for us to go inward and work on ourselves.  Who knows, there could be a beautiful payoff waiting for you just like a rainbow at the end of a thunderstorm. 

Let me know how the retrograde is treating you. Drop a comment below! 

Need a pick-me-up during this trying time? Follow and listen to my “Mercury Retrograde” playlist on Spotify @aslong

Release Toxic Energy Now!: Practical and Spiritual Solutions to Releasing What No Longer Serves You

The Lotus flower is sacred in Buddhist and Hindu faiths because of it’s phenomenal ability to grow and thrive under less than ideal conditions. The Lotus grows in the murkiest, muddiest of waters. It knows how to filter through the gunk in order to retrieve its sustenance. We are called to be good students of the Lotus flower and understand that we need to overcome our circumstances, just as the Lotus grows out of the mud and towards the sun. We, like the Lotus, can prevail through our pain and reach enlightenment. In order to do so, we must release all that no longer serves us. Continue reading to “innerstand” how you can release toxicity from your being and your space.

Photo compliments of Chinadaily.com

Shift Your Mindset

“The problem human beings face is not that we aim too high and fail, but that we aim too low and succeed.” — Michelangelo

In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey discusses the idea of shifting your paradigm as a way to achieve personal and professional success. Paradigm is the way you see the world. Ask yourself this question: Do I see my glass as half empty or half full? Yes, you’ve heard this cliche of a question a million times. And you should hear it a million more times until it sinks in and becomes your reality. By positively shifting your mindset, you will change the way you think. When you change the way you think, you will change the way you see. When you change the way you see, you change the way you react to the world around you. That is growth, my friend. Also, go read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, it’ll change your life!


Sage is a ceremonial cleansing and purifying herb. Burning it in your space clears negative energy and attracts positive energy. You can purchase sage and other smudging herbs at your local African, metaphysical, or aromatherapy shop. Check out these black owned businesses on Essence.com to purchase sage online: 

These Black-Owned Businesses Will Cleanse Your Sacred Space

Some products may not be available, but don’t let that stop you from perusing the sites. #suppportblackbusinesses

Not sure about how to use sage? Philly.com posted a beautiful video on the importance of smudging and how to do so. Check it out: Smudging

In addition, here are some Mantras you can recite while smudging, compliments of MAMAWUNDERBAR.COM: 

“Cleanse this space, remove the past. Fill this place with joy and love.”

“Negative energy may not stay. I release it and send it on its way.”

“Positive feelings alone come near, all others wither and disappear.”

Photo courtesey of Ancient Origins

Cleanse Your Body, Mind, & Soul


Way #1: Cleanse your body by going on a fast or detox

I recently just completed a week long cleanse where I abstained from meat (easy because I’m a vegetarian🌱), eggs, dairy, refined sugar, and mind altering substances .  Examples of things you can detox from are: sweets, alcohol, caffeine, processed foods, sex, social media, and television. Choose a specific, realistic amount of time to abstain from engaging with said item. Hide it from yourself if you have to. Sometimes the sight of something can entice us to want it. 

Photo compliments of Longevity Wellness Worldwide

Way #2: Take a spiritual bath

You can add things to your bath like epsom salt, essential oils, healing crystals, and flower petals to make it more relaxing and aid in healing. More about crystals will be discussed further into the article . For now, here’s more information and recipes for you to try at home.

Simple & Soothing Herbal Bath Soak Recipes.

Photo compliments of Physics 4 Today

Way #3: Exercise or dance 

The exercise you choose can be as strenuous or as moderate as you want it to be, just get that heart pumping! This allows your blood and aura (spiritual energy) to circulate. 


You are primarily composed of water. According to the United States Geological Survey,

Water serves a number of essential functions to keep us all going

  • A vital nutrient to the life of every cell, acts first as a building material.
  • It regulates our internal body temperature by sweating and respiration
  • The carbohydrates and proteins that our bodies use as food are metabolized and transported by water in the bloodstream;
  • It assists in flushing waste mainly through urination
  • acts as a shock absorber for brain, spinal cord, and fetus
  • forms saliva
  • lubricates joints

So, drink up! You can tell if your body is hydrated by conducting a pee assessment. If your urine is dark yellow you are dehydrated! If your urine is light yellow or colorless, you’re receiving an adequate amount of liquids. Good job. 

Photo compliments of Webmd


Way #1: Meditate 

(“One thing about your demons they bound to catch up one day/ I’d rather see you stand up and face ‘em than run away/ I understand this message is not the coolest to say/ but if you down to try it, I know of a better way/ Meditate” -J.Cole, FRIENDS feat. kiLL edward, KOD)  

Meditation is a great way to get in touch with yourself and your environment. Need help? Check out this video 10-Minute Guided Meditation for Beginners to Clear Thoughts . Thanks, Jessamyn. #blackgirlsrock

Photo compliments of Oprah Magazine

Way #2: Read Self-Help/ Motivational Books

Go cuddle up with a book underneath a shaded tree. Here are a couple of works from my personal read list.

Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds by Adrienne Maree Brown

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero

Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur (not motivational but good for healing)

At home sweet home with my books!


Way #1: Journal- Get those thoughts out of you and onto paper. Writing about what distresses you increases your white blood cell count, reduces depression and anxiety, and gives you many more positive outcomes.  If you’re interested in learning more about writing for healing, check out this amazing TED Talk given by Sue Reynolds, an award winning novelist and poet Writing Our Way Out of Trouble. And don’t forget to keep your journal put away in a safe place in order to maintain privacy.

Way #2: Create Art- Make encouraging signs and put them in your windows. Draw, color, paint, sculpt, build, photograph, write a poem, song, or story. The possibilities are endless. 

Way #3: Let Go of the Past- Unless you have a time machine, changing the past is not an option. Make peace with your past and move forward. And remember, taking care of your mental health is sexy! Go to a therapist, if need be. 

Use Healing Crystals

Here is a list of crystals that help to balance your chakras. Don’t know what chakras are? Go read my article 7 Sure Ways to Start Living Your Best Life to find out. All of this crystal information comes from one of my favorite reference books A Little Bit of Auras: An Introduction To Energy Fields by Cassandra Eason. 

Root- Blood agate, fire opal, heliotrope, garnet, jasper, meteorite, obsidian, red aventurine, red tigereye, ruby. 

Sacral- silver, moonstone, mother-of-pearl, opal, and selenite

Solar Plexus- calcite, chrysoberyl, lemon chrysoprase, citrine, jasper, rutilated quartz, and yellow topaz 

Heart- Amazonite, aventurine, chrysoprase, emerald, fluorite, jade, malachite, moss agate, peridot, and tourmaline 

Throat- Aqua aura, angelite, blue chalcedony, blue lace agate, blue quartz, celestite, cobalt aura, kyanite, iolite, lapis lazuli, sapphire, topaz, and turquoise. 

Third Eye- amethyst, ametrine, fluorite, kunzite, sodalite, super seven, and tanzanite

Crown- Charoite, lepidolite, purpurite, purple spinel, sugilite, titanium aura, and violan. 

Photo compliments of Siri healing crystals

Pray/ Chant/ Recite Mantras

Photo compliments of Organic Authority

This is a space for those who want to reach enlightenment. Whether you call yourself a Buddhist, Christian, Agnostic matters least. What matters most is that we are connecting with Source in order to bring peace and happiness into the world. Connect to source by calling on your angels, Spirit, God, your higher self, etc. Spending time in nature is also a way to become connected.

Get yourself in a positive mind-frame everyday, preferably first thing in the morning, or before you leave the house. Say a prayer, recite a mantra, or chant. Focus on gratitude, appreciation, protection, and abundance. I’ve vowed not to leave my house without chanting first, even if five minutes is all I have. That’s just enough time for Gongyo

This is not an exhaustive list of resources but it’s a great start. Each one of these topics can be its own individual article. If you are interested in hearing more about a particular topic, please let me know.

Don’t forget to share, comment, and subscribe!

7 Sure Ways to Start Living Your Best Life

The number 7 radiates at a highly spiritual vibration. There are 7 days in a week, 7 continents and seas on Earth, and 7 chakras that govern the body. As explained on “Avatar The Last Airbender” (Season 2, Episode 19), energy flows through our bodies like water flows through a creek. There are several pools where the water flows around before moving on. The pools are like our chakras. So basically, chakras are pools of spiraling energy in our bodies. And because life is messy, our chakras become blocked. When our chakras are blocked or imbalanced we experience negative impacts in our emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical health. It is our job to remove the blockages so the energy can flow freely. As a lifepath 7 (analytical spiritualist), I offer seven ways to begin the balancing process and manifest your best life. 

Photo Compliments of Sagegoddess.com

#1: Take Responsibility

The Root Chakra 

Location: Base of the spine

Deals with survival and is blocked by fear.

The power of taking responsibility is life altering. When we take responsibility for our circumstances, we reclaim autonomy over our lives. Part of gaining this understanding is accepting the fact that problems occur. Besides, we do not fully appreciate joy without suffering. Authors Hochswender, Martin, and Morino stress in their book The Buddha in Your Mirror: Practical Buddhism and the Search for Self  that the goal of taking responsibility in our lives is to create self-reliance and understand that “If we are unhappy in our circumstances, we have the ability to do something about them.” I argue that not only do we have the ability to do something about our circumstances, but that it is our duty to do something about them. 

Photo Compliments of Chakras.info

#2: Heal Your Past Wounds

The Sacral Chakra

Location: Below the navel 

Deals with personal desires and is blocked by guilt. 

The first step to healing your past wounds is acknowledging them. “Avoidance of pain increases it. To heal, you must pass through the doorway of grief,” says psychologist Sean Grover. In his article titled “How to Recover When Life Crushes You”, he provides five steps on what to do after you’ve been emotionally hurt. The most relevant of which are giving yourself permission, time, and patience to grieve. 

We all have things we are carrying from our childhood. A good friend of mine is very vocal about her journey moving through middle child syndrome. “I was so used to overgiving just to be seen. This behavior translated over into my relationships and I got taken advantage of by my past partners,” she admits. She remains open with me about her therapy sessions and this level of transparency has inspired me to seek out my own therapy. 

Suffering in this life is inevitable. It is perfectly acceptable to seek the assistance of a professional to help you move forward. Wouldn’t you seek out a doctor for your broken bone? The same should hold true for your broken heart.

Speaking of heart, that segues us into my next point.  

Photo Compliments of Chakras.info

#3: Map Out Your Dreams

The Solar Plexus Chakra  

Location: Sternum

Deals with willpower and is blocked by shame. 

No more living with regrets! Take out a piece of paper and a pencil and write down all of your dreams. Map them out and start on the road to making them come true. Does a goal seem unrealistic to you? You can alter it to fit your current life. For example, one of my dreams as a child was to be a gymnast. I grew to be six feet tall, so needless to say that dream did not pan out. However, I enrolled in aerial dance classes at the age of twenty-nine. Aerial dance allows me the opportunities to still be flexible, perform, and do gravity defying stunts! Although I was not able to attain my dream of becoming a gymnast, I was able to do something within the same realm. 

After you have a list of dreams, visualize the end goal. What does the final product look like? A great way to figure this out is to follow someone who does what you are aspiring to do at the highest level. 

For instance, in Michael Jordan’s 2020 docuseries The Last Dance- Episode Five, Kobe Bryant states, “…Michael provided a lot of guidance for me… I feel like what you get from me is from him. I don’t get five championships here without him because he guided me so much and gave me so much great advice.” Kobe Bryant emulated Jordan from his walk down to how he performed on the court. Bryant is the ultimate success story of how following in the footsteps of great mentors can bring you greatness as well. Rest in peace, Kobe. 

Photo Compliments of Chakras.info

#4: Love Yourself

The Heart Chakra

Location: Center of the chest

Deals with love and is blocked by grief and loss.

Remember flying on planes? The flight attendants would give us directions on what to do just in case of emergency. Their number one rule: put your oxygen mask on first, before assisting others. 

The same goes for love. Practice self love first. Your heart, soul, and emotional wellbeing are just as important as anyone else’s. 

You matter. 

Soka Gakkai President Daisaku Ikeda passes along comforting words stating, “Perhaps you have had your heart broken and felt unable to go on, your self esteem in tatters. But you must never think you are worthless. No one can substitute for you, who are more precious than all the treasures in the universe put together.”

Photo Compliments of Chakras.info

#5: Learn a new skill or develop a current one

The Throat Chakra

Location: The throat. Duh!

Deals with speaking your inner truth and is blocked by lies. 

What better way to honor your inner truth than to live authentically. Part of honoring my inner truth was acknowledging that I am a teacher and a healer. As a young woman, I was extremely timid and afraid to show my talents to anyone. How could I inspire, heal, and entertain if I refused to let anyone see me in action? I was able to overcome this insecurity by practicing my skills. The better I became the more secure I became in my showing off my abilities. Take writing and publishing this article for instance. 

In This Year You Write Your Novel, written by my favorite author and mentor Walter Mosley, he gives a word of advice for fellow creators. “In order to be a writer, you have to set up a daily routine. Put aside an amount of time to sit with your computer or notebook.” I omitted the part where he says dedicate “[no] less than an hour and a half” because I know that life happens. The most important trait to establish here is consistency. If you practice your skill everyday, you will get better. If you have an hour and a half to dedicate to your practice, great! If all you can give is fifteen minutes, that’s okay too. Practice makes permanent. 

Photo Compliments of Chakras.info

#6: Give Appreciation

The Third Eye Chakra

Location: Between the eyes 

Deals with insight and is blocked by illusion. 

As a Black American woman, much of my history was lost during the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade. I do not know which country or tribe in Africa my lineage derived from. I honor my ancestors with daily prayer because I understand the horrors under which they lived. Although my life is not perfect and I am oppressed in many ways, I recognize and acknowledge that I possess freedoms that my ancestors could have only imagined. Freedoms they fought and died for. I am their wildest dream come true. The Law of Conservation of energy maintains that energy is neither created nor destroyed. Many of my ancestors have passed but their energy still surrounds me. I honor them in gratitude for their guidance and protection. 

Photo Compliments of Chakras.info

#7: Remember What’s Important

The Crown Chakra

Location: The top of the head

Deals with the higher self and is blocked by material attachment. 

Nichiren Daishonin, the Buddha of the Latter Day of the Law asserted that there are three types of treasures in the world. He described them as:

Treasures in a storehouse (money and materials), 

Treasures of the body (health and status) and, 

Treasures of the heart (inner strength). 

Above all, we are to seek treasures of the heart because they build absolute happiness. Absolute happiness is a state of enjoying your existence under any circumstances. In addition, we are warned against “construct[ing] a happy life based on wealth, status, fame, or beauty [because we] will eventually encounter dissatisfaction, loss, and unhappiness.”  

In order to live our best lives we must take hold of the reigns. When we honor ourselves, give appreciation to the ones who’ve helped us along the way, and vow to make our dreams a reality; we heal and balance our chakras in the process. As long as you have breath in your lungs and consciousness in your mind, you can be victorious. With that said, I will conclude with wise words from singer Maxwell (“I can let it all pass me by/ Or I can get down and try/ Work it all out this lifetime, lifetime.”)

Happy Living!

Works Cited

Hochswender, Martin, & Hancock. The Buddha In Your Mirror. Middleway Press, 2001.

Ikeda, Daisaku. Buddhism for You: Love. Middleway Press, 2006.

Chromatica Review

Deemed the Queen of Pop by many, Lady Gaga has been making waves for over a decade with her eccentric and boisterous persona and music. Gaga is an ally for the people who feel the most discarded by society. 

“I want to help people…. I don’t wanna just take your money and sing for you. I want to help change your life,” says Gaga during her 2020 Visions Interview with Oprah. Well, I can profess she’s done just that for me with her new album Chromatica.

As a queer, dark-skinned Black woman, I have struggled with my identity as it relates to my place in the world. The release of Chromatica has plucked me out of my rabbit hole of despair and transformed me deep within its world of fortitude and empowerment.  

Chromatica begins by ushering you into its dream world with the sounds of a grand galactic symphony, reminiscent of the sounds on KiD CuDi’s debut album Man on the Moon: The End of Day Album, another album which helped me through dire times in my life. 

Photo of Ariana Grande and Gaga Compliments of Billboard.com

Gaga succeed in fully capturing me with her single “Rain on Me” featuring Ariana Grande. When this song plays, I cannot stay in my seat! Immediately, I am reminiscent of college days where I danced on bar tops with my best friend.  The chorus is catchy and empowering (“I’d rather be dry, but at least I’m alive/ Rain on me, rain rain/Rain on me, rain rain.”)

“Sometimes I’ve thought I’ve cried so many tears that that’s all I was anymore— a fountain of misery to cycle through,” Gaga stated while giving background on her hit single. Between Covid-19 claiming countless lives and the vicious police brutality against Black people, a deep depression found solace in my heart. I too cried countless tears with all that was going on around me. One of my worst fears as a Black American is to become a victim of police brutality. As Black people we are trained from young on how to interact with the police. Be overly polite. Always keep your hands visible. Keep all documents accessible. And the reality is that none of those precautions keep us from being murdered by the police. 

Blacks continue to be lynched by white supremacists with little or no justice served. Ahmaud Arbery’s murder especially triggered me because it further amplified this unsavory truth about American race relations. Ahmaud was a 25-year-old Black man that was fatally gunned down by a White father and son during his jog in a Georgia neighborhood, earlier this year. Following this heartbreak came the horrific murder of Breonna Taylor, who has yet to receive any form justice, after being murdered by the police in her own home while she slept.

Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice, Eric Garner, Michael Brown, Sandra Bland, Philando Castile, Alton Sterling, George Floyd, …the names continue on and on as my thoughts swirled out of control. In the midst of this trauma, Lady Gaga lended her money and platform to organizations serving firsthand in the fight for equality.  

Photo Compliments of @KW_Illustrate

Gaga also gets very candid about her stance on love throughout the album. She professes in an exclusive storyline with Spotify that she’s been labeled a love addict and acknowledges that there is “freedom in simply acknowledging that [her] need for love is a bottomless pit.” 

I have been yearning to experience an overflowing, “ace of cups love,” as I would describe it to my tarot-friendly readers. This yearning for a partnership contradicts my independent nature. Lady Gaga understands this dichotomy within me. I am proud to be an independent woman; however, my ability to be independent does not cancel out my desire to be in an intimate relationship. This point directs me to my next favorite song on the album, Free Woman.  (“I’m not nothing without a steady hand/ I’m not nothing unless I know I can / I’m still something if I dont got a man/ I’m a free woman.”)

Gaga reveals that her song Free Woman was birthed from her experience of being sexually assaulted by a music producer. She says that the assault compounded her feelings and made her think about what she had compromised to get to where she is now. For the past two years, I have been in this space of analyzing the painful parts of my past in order to make way for my future. Gaga helped me to remember to trust myself.  To use my voice.  And, to remember what I deserve.

Photo Compliments of Medium.com

I would like to give special mentions to my other favorite songs on the album: Plastic Doll, Sour Candy, and Babylon. These songs reiterate themes of being valued, remaining a fighter, and dancing your way through life. Chromatica unleashed pieces within me needed to rise from the ashes. Her words made me feel validated, seen, and powerful in all of my glory. 

Give it a listen. I hope it does the same and more for you. Oh, and I’m totally here for an Alice Remix featuring Janelle Monae! Let’s keep our fingers crossed.