“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
-Mahatma Gandhi, The Great-Souled One
If you struggle with forgiveness, I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone. We all have been victims of betrayal, bullying, deception, and abuse. No one leaves this world unscathed.
I want you to know that there is peace on the other side of that hurt, and it is your responsibility to seek it out. A great place to start is with offering forgiveness.
Before we get deeper into the subject, let’s discuss what forgiveness is not.
Forgiveness is not:
⛔️ Letting anyone off the hook
⛔️ Reducing the seriousness of the offense
⛔️ Forgetting what happened (probably would if we could!)
⛔️ Condoning what happened
Forgiveness is the conscious choice to release feelings of resentment. It is the key to finding peace and taking back your power. When we forgive, we do it for ourselves. Not for others. Forgiveness is a gift you bestow upon yourself. And who doesn’t love gifs (lol) 🎁!
🎼 Another Gift for You: On My Gandhi Ish ☮️ LISTEN NOW 🎶
If you’re open to it, here’s some advice to help you start the forgiveness process:
SEEK TO UNDERSTAND 🧠 ♥️
The Situation
“Understanding can overcome any situation, however mysterious or insurmountable it may appear to be.” -Norman Vincent Peale, Positive Thinker Extraordinaire
The Person
“The true mark of maturity is when somebody hurts you and you try to understand their situation instead of trying to hurt them back.” -Some Wonderful Person
Yourself
“Choose everyday to forgive yourself. You are human. You are flawed, and most of all worthy of love.” -Alison Malee, Poet
VOW TO MOVE FORWARD 🛤
“If you don’t leave your past in the past, it will destroy your future. Live for what today has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away.” -Some Important Person
SET BOUNDARIES 🚧
“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” -Anna Taylor, Author
CALL TYRONEEE! 📞
You know, your therapist, Tyrone. He’s waiting by the phone ready to help you get through this. Your therapist’s name isn’t Tyrone, you say? Well, call what’s-his-name anyway!
And there you have it. By no means is this an exhaustive list of solutions, but I hope it helps someone. What’s been the hardest part of your forgiveness journey? Drop a comment below, family!
I’m Out! via GIPHY
ICEY Cream QUEEN 
This is such a beautiful and highly informative article. A great reminder of what forgiveness is and isn’t, and how to use it on this journey called life. Thank you for sharing these words of wisdom and keep going sis I see you!
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Thanks Khadijah! I appreciate your continued support on the site. Make sure to share these words with those in need. Happy Holidays 🦃
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Forgiveness allows me to come back to love too, for myself and to allow that to be in the memory of my time with who or what I’m seeking to forgive.
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Hey Camile! Forgiveness brought me back to love too! I’m so grateful that I chose forgiveness over a grudge. Thanks for your support 😉
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So interesting, thank you for your insights! This is the second talk on forgiveness I’ve had today. It might be time.
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It’s time, Gia! This is a sign. And remember that you’re going to forgive for YOUR well-being💙 Thanks for your support.
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Forgiveness is very important. I use to have problems with forgiving people. Every time I saw the person that hurt me, I would get angry. Once I learned to forgive, my life was so much better. Even if that person didn’t say sorry, I forgave them. For my peace. I learned to move forward and not to look back. Great article, Icey Cream Queen 👸🏾
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Thanks for sharing, Ms. Brown. I had a similar experience. I would hold on to grudges and be mad at the other person; and guess what? I was hurting myself while they slept like a baby at night. I decided it was time for me to have peace, too. Thanks for the support ✌🏿 hope to see you around these parts again!
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Here’s an updated link to the playlist:
On My Gandhi Ish ☮️ https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/on-my-gandhi-ish/pl.u-76oNkmBtvP3kYzA
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Thank you for this article! Forgiveness has felt liberating for myself and the other person…working on the LETTING GO aspect of forgiveness too! I really appreciated that you included what forgiveness is NOT! So much power in what you shared in this article.
And the playlist is fire too! Thank you so much!
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Abby! Thanks for commenting on the playlist too! Music can be used as a healing tool. I’m so happy you liked the article and that you have been able to practice forgiveness. From the bottom of my heart, I appreciate your support 💕
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I love that you started with what forgiveness isn’t. This piece is so well written and it will be instrumental for the healing and growth of its readers. Thank you for this. ❤️
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You’re welcome, Shiki! I think it’s important to see both sides of something so you can make an informed decision. I used to think forgiveness meant letting someone off the hook for hurting me. But it’s not. I’m forgiving them so I can have peace. Thank you for the support. Be sure to share this piece with others who you think it could help 🙏🏿
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